The Perfect Mom: Forgetting Her and Embracing Authenticity

The perfect mom.  Her picture’s been ingrained in my psyche since my own childhood.  I’ve imagined her wearing a circa 1950s dress with heels and pearls, her flawless hair and makeup done, as she puts a tray of freshly baked cookies on the table every afternoon.  Her meals are all freshly made from scratch, and she always has a smile on her face when her husband comes home.  Her laundry’s always done, her house is immaculate, and her kids gaze at her with total adoration.  

Since childhood, she’s updated her look quite a bit… and her picture fills our social media feeds.

I recently listened to an interesting piece about what experts are calling “Snapchat Dysmorphia.”  This disorder on the rise as people pursue cosmetic surgery in order to appear the way they depict themselves through the use of various filters.  On the surface, this sounds sad and kind of irrational, right?!  Except, here’s the thing… we can all easily fall into the same trap.  I confess that I often find myself longing to conform to that false image I have of the perfect mom.  To live in the perfect house, and wear the trendiest clothes.  Or to prepare the healthiest meals, and get my kids into the best schools.  To know how to handle every parenting situation I encounter and never lose my cool… all of this, while I envelop my children in an unforgettable, Pinterest-magical childhood. 

The problem is, this picture perfect mom cannot truly experience the joys and triumphs of authentic motherhood.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all tings, hopes all things, endures all things. 

 –1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Authentic motherhood requires us to sacrifically love and humbly serve our families, seeking their good before our own.  When our babies are little, it’s feeding them in the middle of the night and changing endless diapers; cleaning the same messes up over and over again; doing the laundry, running the errands, and kissing the boo boos.  Later, it’s listening and offering support as they share their ideas and try new things; and being there to walk them through the hard and painful stuff of life.  It’s lovingly disciplining them, and forgiving them, even when it is costly… and seeking their forgiveness, too, when we’re the ones in the wrong.  It isn’t glamorous, and it’s often intangible; but it will produce in us an unfiltered beauty of character that will never fade.  

As I grow as a mom, I want my children see to a picture of an imperfect mother being made perfect by grace.  

What pictures come to your mind when you imagine the perfect mom?  How are they holding you captive and preventing you from enjoying the here and now of mothering journey?  What steps can you take to embrace authenticity in your own parenting?  And who in your mom tribe can you encourage and affirm today?  

You’re doing a great job, mama!  Let’s forget about perfection, and celebrate the fact that we are all simply trying to do the best we can.  Because, as my mom always says… the best you can do is the best you can do, and that’s good enough for most days 😉