What is a village for me?
People you can trust in when you are in a bind, friends who have your back when you think you can’t handle one more nursing session, one more sleepless night, one more disagreement with your spouse.
When I moved to Florida from my country Venezuela around eight years ago, I was pregnant with my daughter and I had a little boy who was 3.5 years old at the time. I arrived in a new country with a different language and a different culture. Far away from my family and friends.
However I was lucky, I did not have many people around but I had one dear friend. She did not have kids at the time, but she was there for me. I even used to call her to ask which laundry detergent I should buy.
I did not have a big village. It was a tiny one, but still, she was my support.
After my daughter was born and my son started preschool, I realized that I needed something a little bit bigger than my tiny village. Do not get me wrong, I love my friend and she is still part of my village. But I was in need of mom-friends to have playdates with and share some thoughts about daily challenges with kids.
This is when I started to meet moms at my son’s preschool. I was not afraid to talk to new people. There is even a story about me leaving small notes with my phone number written on it to other moms… this is not 100% true, hahaha.
I started meeting with these moms from my son’s school at the playground and we’d swap stories or I’d run with older moms that had more experience to assure me it wouldn’t be diapers and spit-up forever. Then I began to realize that I wasn’t alone in what I was experiencing and talking about these things always made me feel better.
After some time, our husbands got to know each other and we began to do family barbecues and even getaway together. Our village started to grow. Some of us brought new friends in and we also started to build new separate villages. But I can still say we have a support group around.
Currently, my original village is not the same as it was when my kids where toddlers. My kids have made new friends and so have we. I have all kinds of friends, and I can count on them for different situations. I feel blessed that I have my little family away from my country.
Most important of all, I love to add new people to my village and to be added to others.
It really does take a village to raise a child.
I know it’s not as easy as following some simple steps. It takes courage to reach out, to risk rejection, even for something you know has huge power to affect your happiness and the wellbeing of your family. I have been there, I have felt scared.
But, let’s reach out. Let’s open our eyes to the village we do have. Let’s nurture it. Connect with our friends. Help them. Invest time in them. Let them invest time in us.
So tell us, how is your village?
